Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
I stared with utter disbelief at the computer screen. I couldn’t believe that my performance in the entrance exam wasn’t good enough to secure a seat in my dream college. God! I realized that all the dreams I dreamt for the past few years… all those rosy images I had created in my mind of being a student of that college were all suddenly slipping away so fast. I walked across my room uncertainly. Uncertain, because I had imagined this scene a hundred times before… But I imagined myself jumping with joy… screaming in ecstasy! Running downstairs to give my parents the good news. “Mom! Dad! I made it!!! I made it to LSR! The best college in India!!!”
Alas! When the moment finally arrived, I reacted in a totally different manner. Gosh! This is worse than a nightmare! Because this IS reality! I will not be a student there. I will not be selected. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me! It was at this horribly devastating moment that my eyes fell on a poster I made 5 years ago. It said, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen!” How ironic to be reading such a verse when one’s dreams have been shattered… Faith!
I walked towards that poster which was once so precious to me.I decided to tear that silly verse out of my sight and out of my mind.And as I gave that unfortunate poster a last parting glance, my thoughts went back to that evening 5 years ago.
5 years ago:
I watched as the sun set once again in India.From my window I saw many students returning home from their respective colleges. In India, my country, a LOT of importance is given to academics. Every kid was told about the importance of education, the benefits of studying hard and getting great grades… Education is more than a way of life here. It is life. If someone doesn’t score well and get into a good college, he’s considered a loser. I was holding my Bible, and was in deep meditation. The verse, ” Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen” had caught my attention so much. How romantic it sounded!It was not long before this became my favourite verse. I made a poster too, so I’d always remember those golden words. Jesus became my hero. My faith in Him only grew stronger.
3 years ago :
I was 15. The rigorous academic schedule was so demanding. Studies was always mingled with peer- pressure and unhealthy competition. Yes, I was never an outstanding student. But the way some teachers treated me was so humiliating. They treated me like a pathetic loser… I was always crying. Always depressed. Always feeling empty. At these trying times, I always turned to the Bible for courage. And God was always there for me. I developed such a beautiful bond with Him. Jesus was my best friend. My comfort. My hope.My strength. And He didn’t let me down. High school in India ends witht the 10th grade. And I passed with flying colours. I did well than most of my peers. Those days were beautiful.Glorious. Indeed, Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
2 years ago:
The new found confidence made me rejoin my school for the Junior College level. I so wanted to become the headgirl in 12th grade. And I took a very challenging course which included Math, Accountancy, Economics etc. I had decided that I wanted to do Economics for my graduation from the best college in the country! Little did I know, my troubles were only beginning then. Studies soon became so pressurising. To add to it, I took part in a lot of other activities which only helped reduce my already low grades. My teachers treated me like a loser. And worst of all, I began to believe them. I cried all the time. I felt so lonely. I don’t know why I behaved so sensitively. I should have been stronger. I should have been more focussed. Headgirl dreams, however, were strangely still alive. Yes. By then, I had lost total faith in myself… But I had absolute confidence in Jesus still.
1 year ago:
Everyone were stunned when the election results were announced. I did become the Headgirl. God be praised. Being the Headgirl was great. Not only did it improve my leadership skills, but I was also treated like a mini-celebrity. But I still had my personal battles to fight. I am a teenager afterall! I had my various thoughts and tendencies and desires to curb! And the depression lingered on like the screams of a nagging wife. I tried hard to study. And by the end of the year, I was happy with my effort. I knew I’d do well in the public exams.
1 month ago:
I scored 82% when I was dreaming for a 93% I was so broken! Most of my classmates scored better! Much better.I was the laughing stock of the crowd. I knew I definitely deserved more. But I knew God had a plan. “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen,” I always reminded myself. But I realized Economics was not the subject for me….It was English.
15 days ago:
I had finally written the entrance exam which would give me the ticket to my dream college. I knew I’d make it… Couldn’t wait for the moment to finally arrive! The moment when I’d be selected to LSR!!
1 hour ago:
I stared with utter disbelief at the computer screen… I couldn’t accept the fact that I wouldn’t make it! I suddenly became aware of that sore lump in my throat… Not long after did I feel my eyes turn moist. My dreams are shattered. Just before destroying that poster, I knew that THIS WAS THE MOMENT to put what I believed in for so long, to practice. I knew Christ demanded Faith in him… so that His will takes place. It would be so unfair to curse and question the God who provided you with everything,when the going gets tough! I decided I would give that verse another chance to work its magic on me.I decided I would have unshakeable faith in God during these anxious moments… For I am confident that everything is happening for my good and for His glory.
Jesus, I have no idea where my life is headed… This was not the way I wanted it to be. But I will have faith in your utter love for me. And I know you will not let me down.I believe in you. You will not let me down. May your will be done. Amen.
Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
#bibleverse #brokendreams #faith #providence #Jesus #God #belief
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